December 5th, 2008

This morning Roxy awoke about 4:30am and headed outside to go to the bathroom. She was very wobbly and swayed into our patio set. Then, when she was peeing, she nearly fell over. I held her while she finished and she looked up with me with those big brown eyes and I knew what I had to do.

I helped her back into the house and went and got Brad and told him what had happened and that we needed to put Roxy to sleep today. He called in to work and let them know he wasn't going in. We decided we would call the vet's office at 8am when they opened. I called my sister at 6:30am and let her know what was going on and turned on my webcam so she and my nieces could see Roxy one last time. Wendy and I stayed on the phone for a long while and a few minutes prior to 8am, Roxy slowly arose and started walking towards the back of the house. She made it through the doggie door and as soon as she got through, she pretty much lost control of her bowels and a bunch of black diarrhea ran down her butt and legs. Boy, was it stinky! I ran over to her and she still kept walking to the gravel area where she potties! I wouldn't have cared if she pooped in the house!

I hung up with Wendy, got her cleaned up and Brad carried her into the house and laid her on her couch. I immediately called the vet's office and asked if they could send a vet to our house to euthanize Roxy. I was told a vet would be here at 10am. Brad went next door and let Roger and Karen know what was going on. They both came over and gave Roxy love and reassured us we were doing what was right for Rox. Roxy's breathing got progressively worse and I kept looking at the clock hoping the vet would arrive early.

A few minutes to 10am, I realized we hadn't said any prayers for Roxy and ran across the street to Pam's house. Pam always says the most wonderful prayers and I was hoping she would be willing to come over. Of course, she was more than willing and rushed over. She gave Roxy some love and she said the most wonderful prayer for Roxy. We were both crying and it was very emotional. About 5 minutes later, Roxy lifted her head and looked upwards and her eyes were twitching a little and we knew God was there to take her. I, in hysterics, held Roxy and started screaming and yelling and horrible sounds were coming from deep within me. I felt Roxy twitch a couple times and I looked up and yelled, "Just take her God, take her!" and Roxy went limp. Just like that, my beautiful loving best friend was gone. I just held her and sobbed like a child. She passed away at 9:58am.

I already feel so empty and there is a huge hole in my heart. My life will not be the same.

~ Rainbow Bridge ~

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

December 3, 2008

The Prednisone has stimulated Roxy's appetite so she has started to eat, although still a little picky. She ate a turkey dog this morning, half my pasta today for lunch and scarfed on a few pieces of Daddy's lunchmeat. She also ate a few animal crackers here and there. She still continues to walk super slow, and her belly looks bigger. She doesn't have any more tremors. When Daddy got home from work today, she got off the couch and happily greeted him, tail wagging. She also has got in her favorite spot, the arm of the couch to look out the front window quite a few times today. Even barked a few times at passerbys. Instead of me telling her to be quiet, I find myself saying, "You tell 'em Roxy!"

The vet's office called today and said one of her liver enzymes was extremely elevated and she's a bit anemic. Jack's bloodwork came back with an elevated liver enzyme which she said was normal for a dog on Prednisone. His creatinine was within normal limits, but his BUN was elevated. The vet told me to give him a 20mg Pepcid 1x a day.

Emotionally, I feel like I'm on a roller coaster. I'm fine one minute, bawling my eyes out the next. It just doesn't seem fair that we weren't given the chance to fight this beast.

For those of you who called and I have not got back to you, I will. Just give me some time....


MOMMY SHARING HER PASTA WITH ROXY TODAY


ROXY IN HER FAVORITE SPOT ON THE COUCH

December 2, 2008

I took Jack & Roxy to the vet today. Roxy seemed to have hit a brick wall on Saturday and we couldn't seem to get her to eat. She also seemed to get depressed, has been having tremors, a bit of diarrhea, and a harder time getting up on the couches. I also wanted more blood work ran on Jack to re-check is kidneys and liver.

Jack's examination went great. We should have the blood work results tomorrow.

Roxy's examination didn't go so well. The vet said Roxy had a very prominent heart murmur and found her abdomen hard to palpate so she wanted to get an x-ray of her chest and ultrasound of her abdomen. The x-ray of her chest didn't show anything out of the ordinary, however, Roxy's ultrasound showed inoperable cancer. Dr. Smith said it most likely started in her liver and it metastasized throughout her stomach. She said her best guess is that Roxy only has a few weeks left to live and we will most likely need to put her down when she starts having more bad days than good. She's given us Prednisone to try and stimulate her appetite, Reglan for nausea and Tramadol for any pain she may have and we will try and keep her as comfortable as possible until it's her time. Roxy gets to eat anything and everything she wants. No restrictions. I bet she'll enjoy that.

I can't even begin to try and explain how I feel right now. My dogs are my babies, my best friends, my world. The pain I'm feeling is something I have never felt before and I'm not sure how I'm going to cope. I will, just not sure how.